1. Will I still be a silver medalist this academic year? Or will I lose it? Will I have some kind of existential epiphany when I tread upon that stage with a silver medal dangling in my neck or will I be afflicted with despair when I am downgraded with a bronze?
2. Will I be promoted one notch higher in the FD staff box? Being an associate editor will be awesome for I will be able to write my own column. But being a Feature is something I enjoy so much and it feels like home to me already. No, the managing position is too much for me. That’s just a lot of work. I just hope I won’t be demoted.
3. Am I a loser for majoring in English? Am I going to realize that Shakespeare is just not that useful anymore and that I’m fooling myself with so much crap and quotations in my head? Am I going to read all the course required assignments or am I going to slack off and cut corners again? Am I going to find out that Proust isn’t so fun after all? Am I going to discover that I lack all the analytic and critical thinking skills to be “that passionate English major”? Am I even a passionate reader in the first place?
4. Will I finish college? Will I get my degree with honors? Will I have something to be happy about and proud of when I march upon the stage on my graduation day? Will my parents be teary eyed and smiling with joy because I honored their years of suffering?
5. Will I be able to handle all the anxiety and stress that University life brings this year? Will I breakdown again because of the distraction of my emotional disputes at home? Will my parents ever care for each other?
6. Will my grandfather survive? Will he be able to speak again? Have a voice? Heal his throat? Restore his old self, be alive and happy again?
7. Am I going to get cancer from all the unhealthy food I ate growing up? Am I going to have diabetes?
8. Am I ever going to understand and interpret all poems in the English language? Or make a critical diatribe of Jane Austen’s characters? Am I going to have a perfectly functional vocabulary? How many cups of coffee will I consume in the process of finishing anther George Eliot novel?
9. Will I ever master the streets and ways in the city? Will I ever figure it what jeep will I take to get to Mandurriao? Will I ever conquer the bends and corners of the city all by myself? Am I going to get lost again, because I genuinely cannot think spatially and I haven’t been out cruising a lot?
10. Is it problematic that I haven’t ever really done anything rebellious or juvenile? Am I going to be an eternal goody two shoes? Will I ever prevent drinking and smoking at all cost or will I be fickle sometime soon?
11. Will I fall in love? Will I have some kind of a rude awakening with my conviction of what love truly is? How long am I going to stay in a relationship?
12. Since my brother is also moving to the apartment with me and big sister, are we going to have a harmonious bond? Will our room become a battlefield of opposing temperaments? Or a garden that will nurture our familial bond? Will we stick-up to each other no matter what?
13. Will I ever land a job after graduation? Would I be able to live independently in an apartment, working on two or three jobs? Will I complain and whine how my boss is such a total jerk? Will I have friends in the workplace?
14. Am I going to be a professor someday? Will I ever weaken and bend at this ambition? Will I continue despite the long hours of lectures, studying, and research work?
15. Will I get to visit the seven wonders someday? Will I ever taste the opulent dish in my dream places? Would I be able to afford a cruise?
16. Am I going to be a real writer? Will I publish a book? The question is, am I going to complete, just one, novel?
17. Am I going to have like, a 60-year-old blog? Am I still really going to maintain this blog until I’m fifty? If not, what realization will I have come to – the one that caused me to conclude that it wasn’t worth my time?
18. What am I going to look like 10 years from now? What are all my friends going to look like when they’re 30? Are we going to stay the same? Still as close as ever?
19. Am I going to grow old? Will I survive adulthood? Will I live until I’m 65 or 75? How am i going to die?
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