Starry Starry Night

Starry Starry Night (I wish I am Van Gogh, that I could paint my own sky and reach my own stars.)

Sometimes, when I stargaze, I see things in different perspective. I see the stars, so high, glimmering so bright that they look like diamonds in the blackest midnight. Everytime I stargaze, I think of that person who made me feel the way I did the whole day, who made me feel loved, or someone who made me feel rejected. I think of them as that star, and I talk to that star so deeply and so elaborately, like talking to that normal person because I actually think they could here my voice across the miles. Yes, I'm a little crazy but I like being crazy, in this case.

Sometimes, my hopes with being with that 'person' is like the stars themselves, so high, out of my reach, so distant and these hopes are impossible. And I cry, yes, I do cry...when I get frustrated because I cannot control all the things in the universe...I mean I don't want to rule the world or anything, I just want to be happy like to take a hold of things I really wanted. I don't want everything, I just want somethings and that involves being with that person.

I am emotional right now...because I want to fall out of love but when I do, the sight of him makes keeps me from falling out. The sight of him, the true him, the perfect him. I don't know why I see that person the way I do, it seems like it's only me who see these in him... but that doesn't mean that that person could see me the way I do towards him. I mean, I've been blindly falling in love and I don't know what to do.

That person really inspires me. Like the stars, he made me into this person who do not know herself anymore. I don't know who I am anymore because I've changed. I'm not the same person anymore and I can't decide if this is a good or a bad thing.

If only I could touch the stars, hold it forever, keep it beside me that I could express my love. This is cheezy, I know no one reads this because if they do, they must be feeling the same way that I do. No one reads this because no one can't stand this...what the hell am I talking about?

Stars reminds me of him, the brightest star. I gaze up at the sky each night and find it. It's always there for me...so close, but yet so far. That star that winks in the evening sky and reaches out to me. It magically appears each night for me the world to see. I still believe that stars could fall...no matter what.

(When I've read Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility, it made me decide if I am someone sensible or someone with sense. I think for this post, I choose being sensible...for now, obviously.*sighs*)