On Loving Myself

Physical imperfections? I have them.

When you look at me you would see I am nothing special. I have hooded eyes that makes me look older than my age. My hair seems to be always out of place. I have no recognizable skill in styling my hair. My biggest insecurity is my very scarred, uneven, blemish prone skin and until now I still have active acne. I have button nose which is slightly bigger than how I wanted it to be. I have pale lips and pointy teeth. I have uneven skin tone and my arms and calves are just a little too masculine. I have very rough hands and feet. I am not tall and I definitely do not have thin, long legs.

But somehow I love myself. There are days when I feel bad and think of all that I am not and all that I'd rather be. But as I grow older, there are more days that I feel comfortable in my imperfections. As my days pass, there are more days that I feel I am enough. I wake up with mornings of gratitude thinking that I will never be as young and healthy as I am today. I feel thankful that I am enough.

When you look at me, you would see I am nothing special but I love how my eyes are so deep and mysterious. I love how they allow me to see the beauty of other women, of people, of children, of nature. I love how my hair is thick and strong and full of character. It survived a lot of abuse in the past but now, it has bounced back to health. I am grateful that though I still breakout a lot and my face is never gonna be as smooth as a baby's skin because of severe acne, it is getting better and I am more knowledgeable about my skin than before. Of course, I wanna have clear skin, but I have come in terms with my skin. It is something that I cannot really control, and I just have to keep faith that something will work. It has taught me to be gentle and patient and not judge people with their looks. I have learned what true confidence means and I have come to realize that people can still get drawn to you if you pay attention to them, look in their eyes when they talk and even if you are really so shy about your face looking so bad at the moment, you still attend work and help them out as if you are not troubled with your skin. Acne really taught me a million things and made me recognize who really are my true friends. I have button nose which gives more character to who I am and it doesn't really bother me much. I have plumpy lips and a smile that my boyfriend finds beautiful. My skin makes me feel protected and warm during cold times. My arms and calves are strong that I can go for long walks and I can carry heavy things without difficulty. My hands allow me to write and my feet take me places. I have proportionately pleasing legs that contributes to my pleasing figure.

I have come to terms with being unattractive and yes it's an everyday struggle but today, I feel I am enough and no one can take that away from me.