Am I really showing signs of imminent spinsterhood?

My best friend told me that I am. And I still can't get over it. Oh, my sadness just escalated all of a sudden. I need a half day to take this.

What's wrong with postponing relationship until I find someone right for me? I have accepted courtship from people before but it never turned into anything substantial because it just didn't feel right and I don't want to mess with people's feelings.

And the fact is, I'm very busy and will be very busy in the next couple of months. I don't really have time to fall in love.

But then Jay's remark just slapped me in the face.

It hit me that I am are getting to that age where it’s downright bizarre that I’ve never been in a "serious" relationship before. 

Of course, I want to fall in love, be someone's girlfriend, do those things couples do. I want to know how to love someone so completely without being crippled with anxiety. I want to get over whatever it is that’s holding me back from achieving this but I also have to face the reality that I might not ever figure it out.

I'm literally crying in this part.

People do end up alone. It happens. Months turn into years and all of a sudden you’re the one who never found love. I’m at a crossroads. Either figure it out now or get used to living life alone. Love is like a muscle and if you don’t use it, you’re going to forget how to do it. You’re going to forget how to love and then you’re going to be forgotten.

I seriously don't know what to think or do right now. I'm just so pathetic.

My Tumblr