One of my closest girl friends turned to me one night saying she's in a relationship with a girl. While she's saying this to me, I couldn't quite believe what I'm hearing. Well, I know that she's not straight since our freshmen year but she being with another girl and enjoying it seems to me as a strange and unfathomable phenomenon. I know, I'm supposed to be happy for she's happy having chosen another female as a romantic interest, but I couldn't quite get myself to accept it. The world spins madly on, people's faces are changing, and my friends' preferences surprise me, and sometimes shock me in transit. I do understand her, but accepting it will take time for me. I know, I'm not supposed to be this narrow and shallow, especially with the matters of the heart, but what can I do. I'm a cynical romantic at best.
***
By and by I learn more than I'm supposed to. I hope we can finish finalizing the tabloid and magazine by Thursday so that I can rest even just a little. I have a life. But I don't want this kind of life. I am not an altruist and am too indecisive to make fate-altering decisions for the publication.
***
About my grades, I'm not always that certain as to its outcome. I have been quite immersed in my academics this semester but still I think my efforts were not enough. This semester was quite the hardest, so far, and my professors does not let up if my outputs aren't close to excellence. So after splitting my hairs, abusing my eyes, swelling my brains, and missing my lunch breaks, still not sure if I'm Silver. For the love of God, I want to be Silver. So for once in my life. Let me get what I want!
***
This may sound desperate but I've been thinking about it more often that I want to - I want to be in a real romantic relationship. I'm stuck in a low light, I'm lonely, I'm perfectly average and I'm bored. I know I'm not supposed to go 'looking' for it so okay, I will 'wait' for it to happen. How exactly do you wait for someone? I don't know. But as for me, I'm just going to open up my world for anyone who is really interested in me! Oh fuck, let this not change your perception of the Victorian me! Haha. I'm perfectly content with being alone, but future boyfriend, please come round soon! How far do I have to go to be with you? LSS. ❤ ❥ ♡ ♥ ღ ɞ. Unfucking believable that I'm writing this.
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