You know you're an English major when

You’re social life is beginning to collapse because you’ve been on your room getting through tons of reading assignments about periods you’ve never had a particle of idea before entering college.


Your allowance is always not enough because you are required to buy a book so rare, it could only be found on d’tops, a bookstore of second-hand books and the cost of that pre-owned book is 480 and has two copies left in the entire city.


You’re bag is so stuffed with your dictionary, thesaurus and Grammar books, your bible to the course.


You’ll spend approxiamately200 pesos a week for photocopying hand-outs and printing rare texts from the internet.


Your nights are all about analyzing why and how some metaphysical author said something out of nothing. The next hour will be spent on correcting Bush’s speeches.


When you talk about someone, you apply character delineation on your conversations. It’s unconsciously done.


You’d love to write the scripts for group presentations. And you love it more if they allow you to write it the old English way.


When you get your photocopies, you may spend your entire day looking into it but still get a three out of ten item test.


It’s all about universal truths, and your insights about things under the sun, baby.


You must know the meaning of very word you say, or else, you’d be spending hours to transcribe a paragraph.


Transcription is your nightmare.


Grammar turned out to be not that easy anymore.


Speech class is the funnest class.


Humanities is inhumane.


You somehow scorn the Political Science people.


You can’t help but notice the puckering of your Professor’s nipples.


Smiling and making faces is the fastest way to drop the class.


You smile when people mispronounce words, and feel humiliated if you commit such mistake.


You must be a reservoir of creativity. You must allow your creative juices to squirt and spill everywhere. (Sorry I just watched a sex scandal. By the way, I’m legal now, so...)


You believe in the power of your pen to coax an uno.


You love your books more than your friends!


You’d rather write a report than deliver it in front of an audience.


You have a crush on Beowulf.


You drink words and eat poetry.


You know the universal truth, "English majors do not do the math."