Life Lately

I have come to a decision of leaving my job.

It's not that I wasn't happy. I was. I worked ten hours every day, six days a week. I was never absent at work and I always gave my one hundred percent, or at least tried to.I worked when I felt sick. I faced more than a hundred students at a time everyday, most of them older than me. Despite their overwhelming number, and constant glares of intimidation and scrutiny of my ability to teach them, I was good at my job. I taught them how to do well in speaking, and coached them how to be better at interviews. I checked their papers, gave positive feedback on their writings and encouraged their good points. For once, I felt respected and humbled. I felt that I was doing something valuable, something helpful. I felt that I found something I want to do in my life. I have found my passion. I am a teacher.

But still I had to leave. Working for long hours is taking a toll on my health and other personal interests. The weekly trips I had to take, busy days when I had to skip meals just to finish work, and talking all day for several hours made me feel that though I loved what I was doing, I was abused and exhausted. It is not normal to just work and never have the time for friends, or a rest day when sick or travels, or time to pursue other things like my yoga practice and reading. It was all just too much. 

I felt tired everyday and I feel that I am not compensated well for the amount of work I do and the length of time I spend at work. Also, the benefits I should be receiving were non-existent. Even having my income tax forms was a problem for me. There are no other perks and benefits. No vacations and no sick leave credits. Basically, I was treated like a robot and I cannot stay that way for long. I need to get my life back.

Discussing my decision to my boss was rather difficult. I dislike the idea of letting go of a job and the security it brings. I dislike the idea of leaving wonderful people behind. But I must move on and find a job that is more suited to my current life.

Now that I am processing my visa to go to Korea very soon, I need a job that can allow me to work at home. I have a few options and I believe I am qualified to do them all. I just need to finish my thirty day notice and it will be all transitions for me. 

July 6 will be my last day at work. I will clear my desk and say good bye to all the people in the office. I will probably feel sad on that day, but I still feel that I will be relieved and ready for the next chapter of my life.

Nothing is constant in the world. I had to adapt to all the changes and remain focus on my long term goals. What are my goals really?

For the short term, I need to get a home-based job as a tutor. I will go to Korea and stay there and live with my boyfriend.

For the long-term, I want to be married to my boyfriend, have kids and get a teaching job in Korea. I just want to be a mother, really. I hope it's not a terrible long term goal. I mean, Isn't that what we all want? To be happy in our simple, uncomplicated lives?

The future is always scary and uncertain, but there is no other way but to work for it.