Today, I watched it go from rain to shine and then back to rain again. It felt like watching the endless emotional parade of my life dance right in front of me, close enough to touch. The raindrops fell against my cheeks, mixed with salty tears, the sadness in my eyes going unnoticed. It feels like being dragged to a party, forced to dress up, and then presenting yourself with a smile all night while deep down, you can feel the despair consuming you, eating up every last happy memory.
The loneliness creeps up on me. The girl who appears to keep things in order, busy, and gladly pursuing her dreams is just an illusion, a lie. The diligent, independent woman who has a mind of her own has a lonely heart. I manage to function but my feelings are deep and real.
But the silent sky. The pouring rain. The tender poetic language of Bronte. And the melancholic strums of the guitar from my neighbor's. They speak to me. They provide a warmth of distraction to my folly, of which, I welcome. A night of dismay is a night to get over with. It will all pass, and soon, and all my loneliness will dissipate.
As the last teardrop dries, my sadness too. Such is luxury in being quiet in the heart of chaos. Poetry unravels.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Leave me a comment.