Stressed

This week's finals week. My body's exhausted, my minds fucked up and my chest feels so heavy with load invisible. I still have to review some of my notes. My plan is to just go with my instinct. I've read everything, understood the things that needed understanding and memorized the most important things from my reviewer so if anything goes for the worst today, I have my instinct to hold on to.

Three days of sacrifice and then freedom. Summer has come and I'm ready to dip into the iridescent brightness that it is. Usually, summer's the time I hang out with my best friends and watch movies, listen to music, or read book but now that's not the way. I need to work my ass off now. There's a lot of bills to pay, medications and debts that's not even mine. But I can't stand looking at my mother distressed and weary, my grandfather weakening every singly day and bills piling up in one corner never given their due. I have to grow up and do something, not just watch.

So after Wednesday, the last day of exams, I will review my resume and do some knocking on doors of job opportunities. I'm going to do some graveyard shift on some call center and do online tutorial during daytime. I know this defeat the notion of doing things I mostly enjoy during my vacation, but life gets in the way and some things just got to end.

Also, another thing that bothers me - my thesis. I have to change the whole thing. I and my thesis adviser's having a long distance relationship, because she's in Manila doing her doctoral thesis in UP Diliman and help is barely accessible from here. I don't want to intrude in her own business so I have to wait till she comes back here. But before she left she gave me some very good suggestions and advices and she even sent me a book that really rings on my thesis proposal. I love her. I think even though we are not close,  having a very brilliant adviser is already a comfort.

FD presswork is also complete. And so I'm glad.

Rant. Makes me feel better.