Locomotion

I am the worst jogger ever to run about the dimensions of the earth. Err the City Plaza, that is.

Disregarding the smirks and the chortles of the passersby and the hamstring flaunting athletes, I was constantly hitting my head with my knuckle ill-advisedly encouraging to myself ‘Go beyond your limits! Go beyond your limits!’ in wheezy gasps.

At 5am I was found by Google earth dressed in my jogging pants and pair of (*coughs* pink) tennis shoes dashing the stretch of F. Palmares Street in an attempt to reach the Plaza in full scuttle. And boy, oh boy, I was so excited with calorie-burning and sun-basking. I am having an incalculable Vitamin-d supply shortage in my physique and yes, for Pete’s sake, I just want to be sundrenched!

Vicariously excited, I was exaggeratedly thinking how out of shape I am and how my last piece of Pandesal has gone directly to my thighs. Passi City is placid in the morning and that’s relieving.

By the time I’d gotten in the corner of the park that was meant to serve as my point of reference, it became apparent that something terrible was happening to my body. Near the hedgerow, you see, some nutty driver had decided to coat the inside of my lungs with a smoke – which is fatal to me because I have ASTHMA.

My lung was struggling, my breaths were hurried and wheezing. I sat for a moment just to let the malady cool down in my body and I was thinking, ‘Bastard madcap, he’s surely trying to kill me!”

But the unabashed physical fitness enthusiast that I was, I was inordinately excited to start jogging again and my colossal superpowers drove my limbs to work. My mind was cheering, “You can do it!”

Blind optimism?

Let me not labor you with the rest of what happened. But to tell you directly, it was horrible. My lungs barely functioned. I was basically a complete failure of a human being. I was a shameful example of every possible problem with the concept of locomotion.

The joggers didn’t give a fuck. I was all alone by myself and I was dying. (And to mention, the conceited athletes were there to impress, but that barely worked!) Still, I jogged for the sake of it and after circumnavigating the Plaza eight times I was ready to call the ambulance.

This is indeed, going beyond my limits.

Fortunately, I was able to reach my house. I barely breathed and limping. And fortunately, I have the dignity to say that I did it! Yes, sure did. And thank God, I didn’t fall in the gutter.

Yes, this is another proof that I am one of the physically pathetic bunch. Yet, I have to mention the fact that, nonetheless, I did at least eight rounds and didn’t waver. At least, I have the lady balls to run with tenacious will power and discipline.

I want to put jogging in my lifestyle, even though I barely have a ‘life style.’ Who knows, maybe I’ll run into someone whose willing to accompany me, or maybe better. Oh well, this is such a nice day.