Sick and Tired

I can't remember when was the last time I felt this way. I feel so weary and cheerless. The air I breath is like an intoxicating chemical that makes me numb. My chest feels heavy, for no particualr reason. My brain no longer works, it feels dehydrated, and my blood vessels are clogged. My eyes tears a lot, especially on math classes and that's not new, because math is an ultimate boredomizer.

Have you ever experienced believing at some signs? I really do. Some things eludes signals that only the soul can decipher, especially with the guy I like, there's just a lot of unpredictability and consistencies that occur, every moment that I wake, every conscious fleat, every daydream. Signs makes my day more exciting. It's like the spread on my sandwich. Hhaha, demeter.

Speaking of which, a new fangled expression formed out of the class, and know what it is? Demeter. Yeah, Demeter is greeky, and she is actually the greek goddess of corn and harvest. So whenever a corny joke comes out on anybody's mouth on class, it's a Demeter. Did you understood the logical phenomenon that I'm trying to recount?

Dhary, my new girl best friend, is so adorable. She's a must have for me. She knows everything in me, right now. It's nice to have somebody to share your most silliest explanation to the "serendipity" thing. She also listens to my love sick spiels and she's so cool too. She's like me, girly but tough still. So we're really click with each other.

My grades are devastating. It just happens, no matter how I get stresed thinking about stuffs- school stuffs, nothing good is sprouting, or emerging from the difficulty I've done. Maybe, I'm just plain stupid. And I'm not fit into the expectations of anybody. I'm faking all these years.

And one good thing, is that, my lost in the contest speckled a lot of inspiration into my ever coveteous brain. I actually have a blizzard on my head with ideas and my journals are pageless. Defeat is usually the themes of my write ups and the bright side is, this lost isn't a discouragement after all, it's the inspiration, and I've learned a lot of things that winning would never give me.